Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we're going to talk about something that's very close to my heart: needlessly expensive cars in ridiculously wealthy places. Now, for those of you who've been living under a rock, (or in places where financial sense abounds), the Cullinan is Rolls-Royce's idea of an SUV. In most parts of the world, seeing a Cullinan on the road is rarer than finding a politician who keeps their promises. Peep the Plate: that's $15 Million right there. Imge Credits: Carscoops, available at [link] But in Dubai? They're about as common as sand. You can't throw a gold bar without hitting one of Dubai's Cullinans. And believe me, in Dubai, people do throw gold bars. Dubai is truly one of those cities where the words "too" and "much" will never be found in the same sentence. Want a police force that drives supercars? Done. An indoor ski resort in the desert? Why not. A car that costs more than the GDP of some nations? Here's the Cullinan. The One SUV that no one will take offroad. Image Credits: Super Sport Car Rental Dubai, available at [link] But what makes Dubai's Cullinan so special? Well, for starters, it's a Rolls-Royce, which means it's about as basic as a solid gold toilet. Every Cullinan comes with more leather than a cow convention and enough wood to make a lumberjack weep. The carpet is probably thicker than the mattress you sleep on. And that's just the standard model. In Dubai, standard simply won't do. The owners of Dubai's Cullinans take customization to a level that would make Pimp My Ride look restrained. An Overlanding Cullinan Build, credit: MotorAuthority, available at [link] I've heard of one that has an interior lined with the feathers of extinct birds. Another supposedly has a hood ornament made from a single, flawless diamond. Because nothing says "I'm rich" quite like driving around with the GDP of a small nation on your bonnet. The Cullinan's party piece is what Rolls-Royce calls the "Viewing Suite." At the touch of a button, two leather seats and a cocktail table emerge from the boot. The viewing suite. Image Courtesy: Rolls-Royce, available at [link] Because God forbid you should have to sit on the ground like a commoner when you're watching the sunset over the desert. It's the automotive equivalent of bringing a silver service to a picnic. But the real magic of Dubai's Cullinans is in the details you can't see. The suspension, for instance, doesn't just adapt to the road - it predicts it. The car uses cameras to scan the road ahead and adjust accordingly. It's like having a psychic masseuse constantly tuning your ride. Hit a speed bump in a normal car, and you'll spill your champagne. Hit one in a Cullinan, and you'll barely notice it enough to pause your caviar consumption. I Don't even have a caption for this one. Image Credits: The Speed Journal, available at [link] Now, you might be thinking, "Surely, in a city full of supercars and hypercars, a high-riding SUV can't be that popular?" Oh, how wrong you'd be. In Dubai, bigger is always better. The Cullinan allows its owners to look down on the peasants in their measly Lamborghinis and Ferraris. It's not enough to be rich in Dubai - you have to be high up too. The impact of Dubai's Cullinans on the city's car culture has been about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face. In a place already known for automotive excess, the Cullinan has somehow managed to raise the bar even higher. It's like bringing a nuclear warhead to a knife fight - completely unnecessary, but undeniably impressive.Dubai's Cullinans have become the new status symbol, the must-have accessory for anyone who's anyone in the city of gold. The interior of the Cullinan, image credits: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars OC, available at [link] Forget your limited edition Bugattis - those are for the nouveau riche, the pretenders to the throne. If you want to be taken seriously in Dubai's high society, you need a Cullinan. Preferably two, in case the first one gets lonely. The popularity of Dubai's Cullinans has created an entire ecosystem of luxury services. There are now specialist Cullinan detailers who charge more per hour than brain surgeons. There are SUV-only parking spaces wider than most London flats. There's even a rumor of a Cullinan-only car wash that uses unicorn tears and fairy dust to clean the vehicles. I made that last one up, but in Dubai, would you really be surprised? Two of the most expensive things in Dubai, in one frame. Image Credits: MTN Rent-A-Car, available at [link] So, what does the future hold for Dubai's Cullinans? Will their popularity wane, like last season's fashion? Will they be replaced by something even more outrageous? Perhaps a diamond-encrusted hovercraft or a solid gold rocket ship?Not bloody likely. You see, Dubai's Cullinan isn't just a passing fad. Two of the most expensive things in Dubai, in one frame. Image Credits: Rolls-Royce, available at [link] They're a perfect match for the city's ethos of bigger, better, more expensive. As long as Dubai continues to be Dubai - a place where excess isn't just tolerated but celebrated - the Cullinan will have a home.But that doesn't mean Dubai's Cullinan aren't evolving. Rolls-Royce, never a company to rest on its laurels (or its piles of money), is constantly pushing the boundaries of what's possible in automotive luxury. Rumor has it that the next generation of Dubai's Cullinans will feature even more outrageous amenities. We're talking holographic chauffeurs, zero-gravity lounges, and miniature robot butlers that mix your drinks and polish your monocle. The Yachting Edition Rolls-Royce Cullinan by Carlex Designs. Image Credits: Carlex Designs, available at [link]There's also talk of a hybrid version of the Cullinan. Now, I know what you're thinking: "A hybrid Rolls-Royce? That's like putting low-fat cheese on a quadruple bacon cheeseburger." But in a world where even Ferrari is going electric, nothing is sacred. Besides, I'm sure Rolls-Royce will find a way to make it the most luxurious hybrid ever created. The batteries will probably be made from compressed caviar or something equally absurd. To be fair, the if there's any brand that can embrace the EV movement, it's the double R's. The rear cocoon, image courtesy: DubiCars, available at [link] Their spectre, decried by many is now on a five-month waiting list, so let's wait and watch, and see what Goodwood cooks up. In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, Dubai's Cullinans are more than just cars. They're ridiculous, they're excessive, they're everything that's wrong with the world - and I absolutely love them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see a man about gold-plating my Range Rover. When in Dubai, do as the Dubaians do, right? Thank you, and goodnight!
