It's a tale as old as time, or at least as old as accountants deciding what cars get built. Alfa Romeo, that storied Italian manufacturer whose very name makes enthusiasts go misty-eyed and start babbling about soul and passion and driving dynamics, won't build the cars we actually want unless we first buy the cars we don't. That's the stark message from Alfa's marketing boss, Cristiano Fiorio, who tells Car Magazine that there simply isn't enough funding to develop a new sports car. First, we need to prove our worth as consumers by buying enough high-riding, practical, sensible SUVs. Only then might the company consider rewarding us with something that doesn't look like it's been designed primarily for the school run. "We have to start from credibility: doing one model every year, proving that we are able to execute, to make it profitable, to make numbers which are acceptable for the investment we have made," Fiorio said, in what might be the least Italian statement ever to come from an Italian car executive. "Once we have a track record on that, then we can dream."In other words, eat your vegetables and maybe, just maybe, you'll get dessert. Someday. Perhaps. If you're good. The SUV overlords: how crossovers conquered Alfa Romeo It's been a decade since Alfa Romeo introduced the Stelvio, its first real foray into the SUV market. Since then, the company has added the smaller Tonale and the even smaller Milano to its lineup, with a larger Cayenne-rivaling model expected later this decade. That's a lot of high-riding machinery from a brand once known for lithe, low-slung sports cars and sedans. But as Fiorio points out, these mainstream models are what keep Alfa Romeo in business. The harsh reality is that sports cars are expensive to develop and sell in tiny numbers, while SUVs are relatively cheaper to produce (especially when you share platforms across the vast Stellantis empire) and sell by the boatload. Where would Alfa be today without Stellantis backing its SUV production? Probably in the same place as Lancia was for many years – barely existing, selling rebadged Fiats in one or two markets, a once-proud name reduced to a shadow of its former self. It's not like Alfa was thriving in the days of the 159 sedan or the decades before. The brand has been on life support more times than a soap opera villain. The 8C and GTV revivals, which had enthusiasts salivating when they were announced, were unceremoniously canceled in 2019 before reaching production. The 4C, a flawed but characterful little sports car, was discontinued a year later. And now it seems that any new performance model is contingent on SUV sales hitting their targets. Even the Giulia sedan, widely praised for its driving dynamics and one of the last true Alfa Romeos in the traditional sense, will be transformed for its next generation. New CEO Santo Ficili confirmed that the next Giulia will abandon the traditional three-box layout for a new body style, likely a slightly lifted five-door liftback similar to the Peugeot 408. In other words, it's edging ever closer to being yet another crossover. One glimmer of hope: the 33 Stradale and what it represents If all this sounds depressingly pragmatic, there is at least one bright spot in Alfa's lineup: the breathtaking 33 Stradale. This limited-production supercar, with its butterfly doors and either V6 or electric power, is a reminder that someone at Alfa still remembers what made the brand special. But even the 33 Stradale exists almost in spite of Alfa's corporate priorities rather than because of them. Fiorio explains that the stunning coupe was essentially a side project, developed after hours by a "crazy bunch of people" to avoid disrupting daily operations. It's the automotive equivalent of employees staying late to work on their passion project after completing their assigned spreadsheet duties. It also helps that the 33 Stradale isn't entirely unique under the skin. It shares its carbon tub and aluminum subframes with the Maserati MC20, and its twin-turbo 3.0-liter V-6 is also closely related. Alfa Romeo didn't have to start from scratch, which significantly reduced development costs. That said, considerable effort went into giving the car a unique Alfa character, with bespoke exterior and interior designs and a multi-link suspension featuring adaptive dampers derived from the Giulia GTAm. When the time eventually comes for a new performance model – and Fiorio suggests such a time might eventually arrive if SUV sales are strong enough – it will be more "reachable" than the 33 Stradale. Given that the 33 Stradale carries a seven-figure price tag, that's not saying much. A €200,000 sports car is still "reachable" only for those whose financial reach extends to multiple properties and their own helicopter. And even then, any new sports car would likely ride on existing Stellantis architecture rather than a bespoke platform. The Giorgio platform that underpins the current Giulia and Stelvio – widely praised for its excellent dynamics – is being retired, and developing an entirely new platform would be prohibitively expensive for a low-volume model. So where does this leave Alfa Romeo enthusiasts? In a frustrating limbo, it seems. The cars we love – lightweight, driver-focused machines with characterful engines and distinctive Italian flair – are deemed too expensive and risky to develop. Instead, we're told to support the brand by buying the vehicles that represent everything Alfa traditionally wasn't – tall, practical family haulers designed to appeal to the broadest possible audience. It's like telling Ferrari fans that they need to buy more Fiat Pandas if they ever want to see another mid-engined V8 from Maranello. Or telling Porsche enthusiasts that the 911's future depends on Cayenne sales – which, to be fair, it sort of does. The cold, hard truth is that sports cars and sports sedans are increasingly becoming loss leaders or halo products for mainstream manufacturers. They exist to burnish the brand's image while the SUVs and crossovers pay the bills. It's a model that seems to be working for Porsche, but whether it can work for Alfa Romeo – a brand with a far smaller footprint and less secure position in the market – remains to be seen. So if you want to see a new Alfa Romeo sports car sometime before the 2030s, you know what to do: go buy a Tonale or a Milano. Just don't expect any thanks from the purists as you crawl through city traffic in your high-riding Italian crossover. They'll be too busy polishing their Giulia Quadrifoglios and muttering about the good old days. And on that bombshell, it's time to end. Alfa Romeo sports cars: coming soon, as long as you define "soon" as "possibly never."
