Nissan has just announced that they're canceling plans to build two electric sedans in America, which comes as about as much of a shock as finding out that bears defecate in woodland areas. The Japanese manufacturer, which has spent the last few years lurching from one crisis to another like a drunk trying to find the bathroom at 3 AM, has decided that making electric versions of a body style nobody wants anymore isn't the path to profitability. Who would have thought? These weren't just any electric sedans, mind you. One was for the Nissan brand and would have had the catchy codename "LZ1F" – which sounds more like a vacuum cleaner model than a car. The other was for Infiniti, Nissan's luxury brand that most people forget exists until they see one parked at a shopping mall. That one was designated "LZ1E," suggesting that the person in charge of naming Nissan projects was previously employed labeling parts at IKEA. The Last Gasp Of The Three-Box Car: Another Sedan Bites The Dust Both electric four-doors were slated to be built at Nissan's plant in Canton, Mississippi, where workers will now presumably spend their days making more crossovers, because that's all anyone buys anymore. According to a memo sent to suppliers that was leaked faster than water through a colander, Nissan cited "recent changes in industry market conditions" as the reason for abandoning the project. This is corporate speak for "nobody wants sedans anymore, and we're hemorrhaging money like a trust fund kid in Vegas." It's the equivalent of a restaurant removing spinach from the menu and explaining it as "responding to changes in culinary preferences" rather than simply admitting "nobody ordered the bloody spinach." The writing has been on the wall for some time. Nissan had already pushed back the launch of these electric sedans from 2025 to 2026, which is corporate-speak for "we're not sure about this, but we don't want to admit it yet." This delay happened well before the recent tariff kerfuffle, suggesting that Nissan had doubts about the project when it was still just a PowerPoint presentation being shown to executives who were probably checking their phones. The Crossover Cavalry: Nissan's Last-Ditch Effort To Save Face Not wanting to appear completely rudderless, Nissan has announced that they're working on a new electric crossover to replace the canceled sedans. But don't get too excited – it won't enter production until 2028, by which time we'll all either be driving flying cars or living in underwater caves due to climate change. This pivot to crossovers isn't surprising. It's like watching a drowning man suddenly remember he's wearing a life jacket. Nissan's sales and marketing boss, Vinay Shahani, recently told Motor1 at the New York Auto Show that the company is "very fortunate to have a robust industrial footprint in the United States," which is the automotive equivalent of saying "at least we still have factories" when someone asks how business is going. What's particularly telling is the company's complete inability to commit to a direction. They're like a shopping trolley with a wonky wheel – constantly veering off in unexpected directions and occasionally crashing into things. While Tesla and the German manufacturers have been steadily developing their electric vehicle strategies, Nissan – which, let's remember, was actually an early pioneer with the Leaf – has been changing plans more frequently than most people change their underwear. The abandonment of these electric sedans might actually be a blessing in disguise for Infiniti, which is a brand so forgettable that its own employees probably need name tags to remember where they work. One commenter on the original article suggested that Infiniti is "in the Buick league of irrelevant" and that they should sell their dealerships to Genesis – a brutal assessment, but not entirely without merit.The reality is that sedans are a dying breed, like manual transmissions, handwritten thank-you notes, and politicians who speak plainly. They're being systematically executed by crossovers and SUVs, which offer similar practicality with the added benefit of a driving position that allows you to look down on peasants in normal cars. Nissan's decision to cancel these electric sedans is just another nail in the three-box car's coffin. And while enthusiasts might mourn their passing, the market has spoken. People want to sit up high, they want to feel like they could theoretically drive over a small boulder (even though they never will), and they want enough cup holders to hydrate a small village. So while Nissan scrambles to redirect its resources toward yet another electric crossover that will enter an already crowded market three years from now, one has to wonder if they'll still be around to build it. The company is bleeding money, losing market share, and now canceling future products – a combination that suggests their industrial footprint might not be quite as "robust" as they claim. But hey, at least they've saved some money by not having to come up with actual names for these canceled cars. LZ1F and LZ1E can now join Nissan's growing cemetery of abandoned projects, right next to "profitability" and "brand prestige."
