Two specs of the upcoming Tourbillon supercar have been leaked, and my word, they reveal exactly what happens when Bugatti's designers are given access to every expensive material known to mankind and told to go completely bonkers. SPORTIVE: FOR PEOPLE WHO FIND NORMAL HYPERCARS A BIT DULL The "Sportive" specification is Bugatti's idea of a track-focused hypercar, though calling any Bugatti "track-focused" is a bit like calling an aircraft carrier "nippy." What we're looking at here is a machine that appears to have been designed specifically to make Ferrari owners feel inadequate. It features a two-tone exterior with a horizontal split that makes it look like the car is wading through a lake of impossibly expensive carbon fiber. The lower sections are finished in exposed carbon - because obviously a normal paint job would be far too common - while the upper body gets a matte finish that probably costs more per square inch than most people's entire houses. I wouldn't be surprised if the paint contains actual crushed diamonds and the tears of unsuccessful people. The wheels are particularly spectacular - clearly borrowed from the ridiculously named "Equipe Pur Sang" package, which I think is French for "Team Empty Your Bank Account." They come with blue accents that perfectly match the embroidery inside, because God forbid your wheels should clash with your upholstery. The entire car looks like it's been designed to intimidate other supercars in the car park of Monaco's Casino Square. "Oh, you've got a Ferrari SF90? How quaint. Is that what people buy when they can't afford a proper car?"The interior is a masterclass in how to make black not boring. The entire cabin is slathered in Alcantara - a material that's essentially what would happen if suede went to finishing school and married into royalty. Blue embroidery breaks up what could have been a rather somber affair, while the center console gets the piano black treatment. I'm surprised they haven't included a actual miniature grand piano, to be honest. It's exactly the sort of place you'd want to sit while traveling at speeds that make commercial airliners look like they're going backwards. Sitting in this thing must feel like being inside the world's fastest tuxedo. CLASSIQUE: BECAUSE EVEN BILLIONAIRES OCCASIONALLY PRETEND TO BE SUBTLE For those who find the Sportive a bit... much... there's the "Classique" specification. This is what happens when Bugatti tries to be subtle, which is like an opera singer trying to whisper - it's still going to turn heads and possibly break glass. The Classique features a two-tone exterior combining metallic beige (presumably named something more exotic like "Champagne Supernova" or "Billionaire's Khaki") and more of that exposed carbon fiber that Bugatti seems to have ordered by the container ship. It's the automotive equivalent of wearing a bespoke Savile Row suit but with a diamond-encrusted watch the size of a small planet. "I'm understated," it says, "but also ridiculously wealthy."The wheels are Y-spoke alloys that probably cost more than most family cars. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if each wheel costs more than an entire Toyota Corolla. They're made to look like mere details on the car, but you just know that somewhere in a factory in Molsheim, there's a man who spends three weeks polishing each one while listening to classical music. Inside, it's beige and dark grey everywhere, with diamond-patterned upholstery on the seats, door panels, and even the knee pads on the center console. There's carbon fiber trim around the air vents, because God forbid you should breathe air that hasn't first passed through a vent surrounded by the same material they make fighter jets out of. The entire interior looks like what would happen if you gave a luxury yacht designer an unlimited budget and told them to make something that would impress the Sultan of Brunei. THE NUMBERS THAT MAKE YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE Both versions are powered by the same mechanical lunacy - a naturally aspirated 8.3-liter V16 engine. Let that sink in for a moment. SIXTEEN cylinders. Naturally aspirated. In 2025. It's like Bugatti didn't get the memo about the environment, or they got it and immediately used it to light a cigar made from endangered tree bark. But wait, there's more! This engine is paired with three electric motors, because apparently someone at Bugatti thought 16 cylinders wasn't quite enough. "What this massive, fuel-drinking monster needs," they presumably said, "is even more power!" The combined output is 1,800 horsepower, which is approximately the same as 18 family hatchbacks all strapped together, or roughly the power output of a small country. The performance figures are equally ridiculous. 0-62 mph in 2.0 seconds flat. That's not acceleration, that's teleportation. It's actually quicker than gravity. If you drove off a cliff, you'd hit 62 mph before you started falling. And it gets to 248 mph in under 25 seconds, which means it actually outruns most of the sound it makes. These aren't car statistics anymore; they're the kind of numbers NASA gets excited about. The speedometer probably just has two markings: "Slow" and "You're in trouble." And all of this, of course, comes at a price that I imagine starts with the word "several" and ends with the word "millions." Then there's the "Equipe Pur Sang" package available for an additional $240,000 - a price that would get you a very nice house in most parts of the country, or approximately 15 minutes of fuel for the V16 engine. UPDATE AS OF 5.00 PM CET, 28th February 2024 But wait, there's more! Because apparently, spending $240,000 on an options package wasn't enough, Bugatti has thoughtfully provided four standard configurations for those who find making decisions too taxing. These leaked images from Bugatti's configurator give us our first look at what the ultra-wealthy will be driving to their yacht clubs. The first configuration is called 'Signature,' which features a two-tone blue exterior that looks like what would happen if the Mediterranean Sea decided to become a car. The front is finished in a light blue metallic, while the rear gets a darker shade. It's like Bugatti's designers were inspired by a perfectly graded summer sky. The wheels feature a star-shaped design with a polished finish, presumably to better reflect the tears of Ferrari owners as you drive past. Then there's the 'Extraordinaire' specification, which sounds like a perfume but is actually the most expensive of the standard options. This one features a full exposed carbon exterior, because nothing says "I'm wealthy but environmentally conscious" quite like a car made from carbon fiber that will produce enough emissions to warm a small country. It comes with sporty 6-spoke, two-tone wheels that are color-coordinated, because matching your shoes to your belt is so passé – real ballers match their wheels to their bodywork.Inside the Extraordinaire, you'll find white and blue leather upholstery with diamond patterns on the side bolsters and door panels, presumably because regular leather without geometric shapes is for peasants. The seats have Bugatti's Dancing Elephant logo embroidered on the headrests, which is a bit like putting the price tag on the outside of your suit – it's just letting everyone know exactly how much you've spent.What's particularly fascinating about all these configurations is that they're just the starting point. After choosing your preferred pre-designed color scheme (which probably costs the same as a decent apartment), you can then add the $240,000 Equipe Pur Sang package on top, and likely several hundred thousand dollars' worth of other "personalization options." By the time you're done, you've spent enough to fund a small space program, all for a car that you'll probably drive less than 1,000 miles a year. THE BUGATTI MINDSET: MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH What's particularly interesting about these leaks is that they reveal Bugatti's fundamental philosophy - that excess is best served with a side order of more excess. Four distinct "standard" configurations are planned, though "standard" in Bugatti terms is a bit like calling a Michelin-starred restaurant "a place that serves food." The very existence of the Tourbillon raises an interesting question: who exactly is this car for? It's too expensive for merely rich people. It's too ostentatious for those with actual taste. It's too powerful for normal roads. It's too precious to actually race. The answer, of course, is that it's for people who have so much money that buying a Tourbillon is like you or I buying a cup of coffee. "I think I'll have a Tourbillon today," they say, in the same tone we might use to order a croissant. And yet, despite all logic, I find myself drawn to it. The Tourbillon represents the absolute pinnacle of what's possible when engineers and designers are told to ignore practicality, cost, and common sense. It's automotive insanity in its purest form. And in a world increasingly filled with sensible electric crossovers, there's something gloriously refreshing about a car that's so completely, utterly, and unapologetically ridiculous. So yes, the Bugatti Tourbillon is excessive, ostentatious, environmentally questionable, and costs more than most people will earn in several lifetimes. But my word, what a thing it is. And isn't that what hypercars are supposed to be? Not sensible, not practical, but utterly, jaw-droppingly spectacular. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to sell approximately three kidneys to afford one. And since I only have two, I'll need to find a volunteer.
