I'm about to take you through the auto version of a Christopher Nolan film. The same over-the-top guy who crashed a real Boeing 747 into an aircraft hangar for Tenet. That aside, my unwanted, unasked-for, and uncompromising dissertation today will be on the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance.

By God, where do I start?

And yes, I'm assuming it's coming in 2025 as you can already equip it in the configurator.

Thus, I'd say that seems the chaps at Rezvani have not only mastered the art of building rolling fortresses but have also cracked time travel. Either that, or they're terribly optimistic about their production schedule. But I digress, let's talk about the "normal" Vengeance first.

Background: Because Every Ridiculous Vehicle Needs a Backstory

The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance isn't just another luxury SUV. Oh no, that would be far too pedestrian. It's what happens when you give automotive engineers a blank cheque, a copy of "Dictators' Monthly", and a marathon of James Bond films. Born from the mind of Ferris Rezvani - a man who clearly watched too many action movies as a child - this vehicle takes the already ostentatious Cadillac Escalade and turns it into something that would make even the most flamboyant oligarch blush.

Rezvani Motors, founded in 2014, has always been about creating vehicles that blend extreme performance with military-inspired design. With the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance, they've taken this philosophy to its logical conclusion, and then driven it off a cliff into the sea of absurdity.

The genesis of this vehicular leviathan can be traced back to the increasing demand for high-end, secure transportation among celebrities, business tycoons, and government officials. Because apparently, a regular armored Mercedes wasn't quite paranoid enough for some people.

Engine and Powertrain: Because More is More, and Then Some

The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance offers a range of engines that would make most petrolheads weep with joy and environmentalists weep for entirely different reasons.

To kick it off, the base variant comes with a 6.2-litre V-8 engine that manages to push out 420 ponies, and 460 lb-ft of torque. I'd compare this to putting a jet engine in a bulldozer — a bit over the top maybe, but thrilling definitely. But there's more, for those who think that the V-8 is too over-the-top (what about this car isn't?), you can also equip your Vengeance with a 3.0-litre inline-6 engine. Though it has only a measly 277 bhp, it matches the bigger engine when it comes to lb-ft.

But for those who look at 650 horsepower and think, "Is that all?", Rezvani offers the pièce de résistance: an 810-hp supercharged 6.2-liter V8. At this point, I'm beginning to suspect that Rezvani's engineers have some sort of collective Napoleon complex about horsepower.

All of these engines are mated to a 10-speed automatic transmission. It's designed to handle everything from crawling through apocalyptic wastelands to outrunning imaginary baddies on the highway. And speaking of highways, that is where, let's be honest, this thing is going to spend 95% of her time.

Performance: Defying Physics, One Unnecessary Acceleration at a Time

While Rezvani hasn't released official performance figures for the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance, we can make some educated guesses. With the standard 6.2-liter V8, expect 0-60 mph times in the sub-7-second range. That's impressive for a vehicle that probably weighs as much as a small moon.

The diesel option might be a tad slower off the line, but its torque should provide excellent mid-range acceleration. Perfect for those times when you need to overtake a convoy of lesser vehicles on your way to the shops.

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Now, with the supercharged options, things get really silly. The 650-hp version could potentially shave the 0-60 time down to the mid-5-second range. And the 810-hp variant? It might even dip into the high 4-second territory. At this point, you're essentially driving a tank that thinks it's a Porsche.

But straight-line speed is only part of the performance equation for the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance. This vehicle is designed to handle a variety of challenging situations, like navigating speed bumps in Kensington or escaping the paparazzi after a night out in Mayfair.

The military-grade run-flat tires aren't just for show; they allow the Vengeance to continue driving at high speeds even after sustaining significant damage. You know, for those everyday situations we all find ourselves in, like a high-speed chase through a field of caltrops.

Price: If You Have to Ask, You Can't Afford It (And Neither Can Most Small Countries)

When it comes to the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance, the old adage "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" comes to mind. But for those who are curious (or who have very deep pockets and a penchant for vehicular overkill), let's break down the numbers.

The base price for the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance starts at a cool $410,000. That's right, for the price of a modest house in some parts of the world, you too can own a vehicle that's essentially a private jet that never leaves the ground.

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But wait, there's more! Rezvani offers a range of additional packages that can send the price skyrocketing faster than the vehicle's 0-60 time. There's the Security Package, which for a mere $62,000 - more than the price of many luxury cars - adds features like electrified door handles and a smoke screen deployer. You know, for those everyday situations we all find ourselves in.

But for those who want the ultimate in protection (or perhaps you're a supervillain in need of a new company car), there's the Military Package. At $125,000, it's not cheap, but can you really put a price on being able to withstand attacks that would cripple a normal vehicle? Well, apparently Rezvani can, and that price is $125,000.

If a potential buyer were to tick every box, adding both the Security and Military packages to the already luxurious Executive Edition, they'd be looking at a price tag north of $650,000. At this point, you might as well be buying a small yacht.

Or a helicopter.

Or both.

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Technology: More Gadgets Than Q Branch on Steroids

The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance isn't just a brute force machine; it's a technological marvel that would make even the most advanced Silicon Valley startups green with envy. From entertainment systems that rival high-end home theaters to security features that wouldn't be out of place in a military command center, this vehicle is packed with more tech than a NASA space shuttle.

Let's start with the entertainment system.

The centerpiece is a built-in Apple TV, because apparently, the target market for this vehicle includes people who simply can't bear to be away from their favorite shows for more than five minutes.

But this isn't just any TV; it's a large, high-resolution screen that provides a cinematic experience on the go. Perfect for watching "Die Hard" while living it.

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Complementing this are wall-mounted iPads, giving each passenger their own personal entertainment center. Whether you want to catch up on work emails, play games, or watch your favorite shows, the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance has you covered. It's like having an Apple Store on wheels.

But the real technological marvels come in the form of security features. For those who opt for the Military Package, the Vengeance includes a state-of-the-art night vision system.

And this is a lot more than a marketing gimmick, as Rezvani says that it's a military grade system that lets you drive in near-complete darkness. Because apparently, some people find headlights too mainstream.

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Then again, the only people who find the words "military-grade" impressive are civilians. The enlisted and vets know that "military-grade" simply means "I gave the DOD the cheapest quote". Nonetheless, initial videos of the system have been rather impressive, and that's coming from a critic who told his grandmother her pie tasted funny.

The vehicle also features a continuous video recording system, constantly monitoring its surroundings. It pretty much is the equivalent of having your own personal CCTV network, perfect for those who find regular dashcams a bit too plebeian.

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One of the most impressive technological features is the EMP protection. In an age where electronic warfare is a real concern (or so I'm told by people who wear tinfoil hats), the Vengeance is designed to withstand electromagnetic pulses that could disable normal vehicles.

It's the kind of feature that makes you wonder if Rezvani's engineers have some inside information about an impending robot uprising.

For those who opt for the full Military Package, the vehicle also includes an explosive device detection system.

Using advanced sensors and algorithms, this system can alert occupants to the presence of explosive devices. You know, for those everyday situations we all find ourselves in, like accidentally driving into a war zone on

the way to Waitrose.

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Interior: A Mobile Panic Room with Netflix

Step inside the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance, and you'll find yourself in what can only be described as a cross between a first-class airline cabin and a military command center. The centerpiece is undoubtedly the executive seating. These aren't just seats; they're thrones fit for royalty, or perhaps a Bond villain.

Crafted from the finest leather and equipped with heating, ventilation, and massage functions, these seats redefine comfort. With a touch of a button, they recline to a near-flat position, complete with extendable calf-rests. It's like having a first-class airline seat in your SUV. I half expected to see a call button for the flight attendant.

But comfort is just one aspect of the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance's interior.

Entertainment is equally important, because what's the point of surviving an apocalypse if you can't watch Netflix while doing so? The big-screen TV isn't just for show; it's a fully functional entertainment center complete with Apple TV integration. Whether you're streaming the latest blockbuster or conducting a video conference on the go, this system has you covered.

For those who prefer a more personal entertainment experience, the wall-mounted iPads provide individual access to a world of content.

Each passenger can control their own entertainment, ensuring that everyone's tastes are catered to. It's like having your own personal multiplex, minus the sticky floors and overpriced popcorn.

But what's entertainment without refreshments? The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance has you covered there too. The onboard snack bar and refrigerator ensure that you're never far from your favorite treats and beverages. And for those who prefer something a little stronger, the onboard bar is stocked and ready to serve. Because nothing says "responsible driving" like a fully stocked bar in your car.

Privacy is paramount in the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance. Retractable window shades allow you to instantly create a private sanctuary, shielding you from prying eyes. The driver partition further enhances this sense of privacy, creating a separate space for passengers to relax or conduct business. It's perfect for those times when you need to have a clandestine meeting on the go, or perhaps plot world domination.

One of the most striking features of the interior is the option for a Rolls-Royce-style starry night headliner. This isn't just ambient lighting; it's a work of art that transforms the ceiling of the vehicle into a twinkling night sky. It's a feature that never fails to impress and adds an extra touch of magic to every journey. Or perhaps it's there to remind you of the star-studded lifestyle you clearly lead if you can afford this vehicle.

For those times when additional passengers or security personnel are needed, the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance includes rear-facing jump seats.

These aren't afterthoughts; they're fully-functional seats that maintain the vehicle's luxurious aesthetic. Perfect for those impromptu entourage additions or perhaps a couple of bodyguards.

For clients who opt for the Military Package, the interior includes additional features designed for extreme situations.

A built-in safe provides secure storage for valuables, while gas masks and hypothermia kits ensure that occupants are prepared for any eventuality.

You know, just in case your trip to the shops turns into a chemical warfare situation or an impromptu arctic expedition.

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Design: Because Subtlety is Overrated

The exterior design of the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance is nothing short of revolutionary. It's a vehicle that demands attention, not through flashy gimmicks or unnecessary ornamentation, but through its sheer presence and purposeful design. It's as if a Hummer had a torrid love affair with a stealth bomber, and their offspring was raised by a tank.

For those who opt for the Military Package, the design incorporates even more advanced features. The bulletproof glass isn't immediately apparent, blending seamlessly with the vehicle's overall design. But make no mistake, this is some of the most advanced protective glass available, capable of withstanding attacks that would shatter normal automotive glass. It's perfect for those times when your trip to the supermarket turns into a scene from an action movie.

Even the door handles are part of the vehicle's defensive capabilities. The electrified door handles, part of the Security Package, add an extra layer of protection against unauthorized access (warn the valets).

Conclusion: Who Needs This? No One. Who Wants This? Everyone.

In conclusion, the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance is a vehicle that answers a question no one was asking. It's ridiculously over-engineered, absurdly expensive, and about as practical as a chocolate teapot. It's the automotive equivalent of using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, and then using that same sledgehammer to build a nuclear bunker around said nut.

And yet, I can't help but love it. The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance is a testament to human ingenuity, excess, and our ability to create solutions to problems that don't exist.

It's a vehicle that takes every action movie trope, every billionaire's whim, and every survivalist's fantasy, and rolls them all into one outrageously excessive package.

Is it necessary?

Absolutely not.

Is it wanted?

By a select few with more money than sense, undoubtedly.

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The 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance is the vehicular embodiment of the phrase "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." And yet, they did. And part of me is glad they did, because in a world of sensible, efficient, and practical vehicles, sometimes it's nice to see something so gloriously, unapologetically over-the-top.

So, if you've got more money than sense, a paranoid streak a mile wide, and a burning desire to own a vehicle that looks like it could survive the apocalypse (and possibly cause it), then the 2025 Executive Edition Rezvani Vengeance might just be the car for you.

Just don't expect to find a parking space for it anywhere outside of a military base or a Bond villain's lair.

And maybe, just maybe, consider donating that $650,000 to charity instead.

But where's the fun in that?