Here's a story about how one of Britain's most beloved car makers has just tried to reinvent itself while apparently forgetting what made it special in the first place.

In what must be the most dramatic transformation since Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn, Jaguar has revealed its Type 00 concept car.

And before you ask - no, that's not a prototype for a new air conditioning unit, though I can see why you might think that. It's apparently Jaguar's vision of the future, which looks suspiciously like someone's been spending too much time playing Cyberpunk 2077.

Let's address the pink elephant in the room - yes, they've actually painted it pink. Miami Pink, to be precise. Because nothing says "we're a serious luxury car manufacturer" quite like painting your flagship concept the same color as a flamingo's embarrassed cousin. Though they've also done it in London Blue, presumably to remind us that this is still, somehow, a British car company.

Even if it looks about as British as a plate of sushi.

The company proudly announces this is part of their "copy nothing" philosophy.

Which is interesting, because what we're looking at appears to be what you'd get if you asked a Rolls-Royce Spectre to have a baby with a Tesla Cybertruck, then had it raised by the art department from Blade Runner.

The Historical Context (Or: How to Forget 90 Years of Heritage in One Go)

This is the company that gave us the E-Type - a car so beautiful even Enzo Ferrari had to admit it was the most gorgeous thing on wheels.

Jaguar E-Types for Sale from Eagle E-Types — A real Jag.

The Mark 2, which could serve as both a gentleman's express and a getaway car with equal aplomb.

ADS ON TEST: 1967 Jaguar Mk2 convertible | %%channel_name%% — Jag Mark 2, Image Credits: Classic Cars Magazine, available at [**Link**]

The XJ6, which showed that comfort and sport could coexist without having an argument.

Retropower | Project XJC430 : Jaguar XJ Coupe — A Jaaaaaaaaaaaag XJC430, Image Credits: Retropower, available at [**Link**]

But apparently all that heritage needed to be thrown out faster than last week's fish and chips. Instead of evolving their design language, they've decided to start speaking an entirely different language altogether - one that sounds suspiciously like it was Google-translated from Korean concept car to Silicon Valley startup and back again.

The Technical Bits (Or: Lack Thereof)

First up is the damn design.

The front and sides have been designed by someone who's only ever read or heard about cars over the phone.

And the rear — well the less that's said, the better.

They're not telling us much about the technical specifications, which in concept car language usually means "we haven't figured that bit out yet." What we do know is that when the production version arrives in 2025, it'll be all-electric with a range of about 478 miles. Though given Jaguar's historical relationship with reliability, I'd pack a very long extension cord just in case.

JAGUAR TYPE 00 EXTERIOR STILLS - INCEPTION SILVER BLUE

The Interior (Or: When Interior Designers Go Wild)

Inside, things get even more peculiar.

They've used travertine stone and alabaster in the interior, which is a bit like putting a marble countertop in a speedboat - technically possible, but why would you?

There's also something called a "brass totem" that apparently controls various functions.

Because apparently, normal buttons aren't premium enough anymore.

The seats look like they were designed by someone who's never actually sat down, and the dashboard appears to have been inspired by a particularly minimalist art gallery.

The only traditional Jaguar element I could spot was the complete absence of cup holders - though I suspect that's less about heritage and more about forgetting they exist.

The Business End (Or: How to Alienate Your Existing Customers)

Jaguar says they're aiming for a new, younger, more affluent customer base.

Which is car industry speak for "our current customers are getting too old and we're panicking."

The problem is, they seem to have forgotten that their existing customers are the ones who've kept them in business all these years.

Compare it to ye olde pub rebranding to a vegan, gluten free smoothie bar. Yes, you'll get some oddball new customers. Yes, them customers will be younger, definately. But the older customers (the ones with all the retirement spending power) will shun you like a leper.

The Competition (Or: How Others Do It Better)

Look at how other luxury manufacturers have handled the transition to electric.

Porsche gave us the Taycan, which manages to be both modern and instantly recognizable as a Porsche.

Bentley's upcoming EVs look like Bentleys, just with plugs.

Even Rolls has done very well with the Spectre lineup.

But Jaguar seems to have developed automotive amnesia.

They're so desperate to be different that they've forgotten what made them special in the first place. It's like they've looked at Tesla's success and thought "we need to be more like that," without realizing that Tesla had no heritage to worry about.

The Future (Or: What Happens Now?)

The production version of this concept will arrive in 2025, and Jaguar promises it'll be built in Britain. Which is something, I suppose, though I can't help but wonder if they'll outsource the design to whoever's responsible for drawing those weird robots in Boston Dynamics videos.

They're planning to open fancy brand stores, starting in Paris's 8th arrondissement.

Because nothing says "we understand our customer base" quite like opening a shop where people go to buy overpriced macarons.

And on that bombshell, I'm off to look at pictures of old E-Types to remind myself what Jaguar used to be about. Though I suspect Sir William Lyons is already spinning in his grave fast enough to power all of Jaguar's future electric cars.

If anyone from Jaguar is reading this - it's not too late to remember who you are. And maybe hire someone who's actually seen a car before.

Preferably one of yours.